1) Procrastinate.

2) Eat lots of food/drink lots of alcohol while feeling guilty about step 1.

3) Repeat steps 1 - 2 as many times as possible.

4) Weep.

5) Become delirious and write a ridiculous number of pages in a tiny amount of time.

6) Turn in at the last possible moment.

7) Sleep for 12 hours.

8) Go back, read what you wrote, and realize some of it is godawful and some of it is actually okay.

9) Repeat all previous steps until next deadline.