SWEET BISCUITS AND HONEY!
JLM STAHP, BUT DON’T STAHP
HOLY BUTTERY BISCUITS
THE FINALE IS GOING TO KILL ME
And it’s probably the worst decision I’ve ever made in terms of my emotional stability.
Like, the entirety of John-117’s existence is pain, loss, and death. He’s kidnapped at age 6, forced into brutal military training, subjected to “medical enhancements” that kill or maim over half of his squad at age 14, and led to believe that his entire life, his entire purpose, is to unquestioningly obey the orders of any and all superior officers and accomplish one mission after another. It’s HEARTBREAKING. Like, I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS!
I understand Dr. Halsey chose John because she thinks he’s a good fit for the lifestyle, that he finds this sort of existence fulfilling. Spartan program candidates, if they hadn’t been picked out by Halsey, would probably have gone into the military of their own free will once they got older. But then, at least, they would have had a choice! They would have actually gotten to make that choice to go out and fight, rather than being indoctrinated with that mindset. I understand that the human race is desperate and Master Chief goes on to save many, many thousands of lives and represent hope to a lost and hopeless race, but I just can’t help thinking that any group that does this to BABIES is evil and wrong.
What REALLY irks me though is the fact that the author is constantly telling me that these Spartans are so super smart and that their brains work at like, 10x the speed of a normal human brain, and yet, in the writing, John comes off (at least to me) as really, really dull! Example: When half of the squad dies due to complications with the medical enhancements, John feels guilty because he thinks the procedure was a mission, and because he lost half his squad, he failed. (Is there a legitimate reason why NONE OF THE SUPERIOR OFFICERS TOLD THE TRAINEES WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO THEM? Because any way you look at it, not telling them is a terrible, stupid idea.) Later on, when he’s training with his new enhanced body he thinks the gravity calibrator is broken because the weights feel too light. And then the author has John calculate the equation for gravity by using calculus and deriving the equation. Some people would say that shows how smart he is, and yes, calculus is a complicated type of math. But where’s his logic? His common sense? He had a medical procedure a few weeks ago, but the thought that this medical procedure may have enhanced his body doesn’t cross his mind at all? AND THEN, some ODSTs come in to work out and start picking on John because of an accident he caused. (He forgot to put the pin back on the bench press bar, so the weights fell off of one side. Honest mistake.) Their superior officer comes in and tells them to take the fight to the boxing ring. John’s thought process is as follows:
John only knew three ways to react to people. If they were his superior officers, he obeyed them. If they were part of his squad, he helped them. If they were a threat, he neutralized them.
This was starting to make sense. It was a mission. John had received orders from a superior officer, and the four men were now targets.
John then proceeds to beat the four guys to death. Literally to death. He breaks one guy’s neck. He kicks another guy in the crotch so hard his pelvis shatters. He whacks another guy with the weightlifting bar hard enough to send him flying out of the ring. There is no freaking way these guys are okay. I am not okay with this. Like 1000% not okay.
Now that I’ve typed this out, it’s clear to me why this fight happened. Obviously the Spartans have very, very limited social skills as a result of their training, although why the military chose to shape their training in that manner is unclear to me. Wouldn’t they want their supersoldiers to know anything and everything about human behavior and thus be better able to predict soldiers on the battlefield or whatever?
I’m still bothered by the fact that John didn’t apply logic to his “new body” though. Halsey even told him that he had to “get used to it”. But it’s never clear that John understands what happened to him. WHERE’S THE LOGIC?
Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I just have a lot of feelings.
Sherlock breaks everything and is a manipulative little brat.
Joan’s family is hilarious and awesome.
OH EM GEE. A windbag! pffffft!
LOL Smartest man in the world.
d’aw, Joan. Be happy. :)
Last episode of “Elementary” fucking killed me, it was just so sad overall omg and SHERLOCK BABY LET ME HOLD YOU OMG OMG *SOBS LIKE A BABY*
Srsly, I have so many feelings about this show…
Half of me is like: Nuuuuuu… Sherlock, my bby, come here!
And the other half of me is like: You’re lying!
So torn. I don’t know what to dooooooooo…
Ugh. What a biotch.